‘Hi, my name is Claire Atherton and I’m menopausal…!’  Silence… … … I feel as though I should be sat on a wooden chair, in a semi-circle in a Community Centre sharing my story with people who have the same condition as myself, but I’m here at my desk writing my blog to share with colleagues and I’m slightly nervous about the reaction.  However, as soon as I utter the words ‘I’m menopausal’ I feel a weight has been lifted.  If only it was as easy to shift this menopausal weight from my hips????

I’m not sure when it started… I mean I was 40 something, but quite when I can’t recall.  All I know is one moment I was living, full of zest, carefree, and by the age of 48 the light went out.  The sparkle was dampened by hot flushes and night sweats, my mood became unpredictable, and I couldn’t remember the names of people who have been in my life for the longest time.  This was diagnosed by my GP as the ‘perimenopause’.  Wow!! All of a sudden I felt like a grown up and my body was changing and growing older too.

I would say my symptoms have been fairly typical.  As well as the hot flushes I found that my body found it very easy to put on the pounds.  In the past this had often happened at Christmas but with a new regime of exercise, diet and cutting down on the wine I always managed to shift it. 

This was different, my body shape was changing, and I was gaining what is more commonly known as ‘middle aged spread’! By definition, the fat that accumulates around the abdomen and buttocks during one’s middle age.  And no amount of walking, eating less or yoga classes seems to shift it!

I also suffer with migraines, again this wasn’t anything new.  However, they have become more acute and at times scary.  Thankfully the medication I have been prescribed helps me control them.

If I’m honest, I completely accept these changes as they represent all that being a woman is and I’m proud of who I am and the journey I’ve been on.

What I found the hardest to deal with during the early symptomatic days, was the perception of those closest to me. The attitude was ‘see the doctor and ask for some tablets and gel and you’ll be fine!!!’  It wasn't their fault. The menopause is one of the last great taboos.  It's been happening since the beginning of time. It's just we don't talk about it, or if we do it's often thought of as a topic of fun.  

As children become women of reproductive age, they teach sex education in school, periods and contraception, but where are the lessons on the changes that take place when your days of being 'fertile' are over.  Who tells you about the physical and mental changes?  The question of feeling somehow less feminine?

Maybe now things are starting to change, Menopause is no longer a dirty or funny word.  There are celebrities bringing the Menopause to the fore and talking about their experiences.  A great book has been written by Andrea McLean ‘Confessions of a Menopausal Woman’.  Her well documented journey is that she experienced the menopause at a relatively young age and struggled with the aftershock of a hysterectomy.  Another has been the Davina McCall Channel 4 documentary, Sex, Myths and the Menopause. This for me and for many others has been a game changer, bringing the conversation on this hugely life changing experience to the front page.

And as for my memory!!! On occasions I have seriously thought ‘Do I have early onset dementia?’.  Now I write everything down… notes for absolutely EVERYTHING… if only I could remember where I left my memory notebook!

I’m now 56 and I have a confidence and surety that I’ve not experienced before.  I’ve set up my own business consulting on this very subject and this followed a successful 37year career with Nationwide Building Society.  My role with Nationwide was as Member Relationships Director, responsible for Customer Experience & Colleague Development and Wellbeing in South and West Wales which I adored. I take pride in my appearance but I’m more focused on how I feel, and I have built some disciplines into my life.  I try to walk on the beach as often as possible and I have joined a ‘fitter body ladies’ group where we exercise, chat, follow healthy eating regimes and every now and then let our hair down and party… a group of like-minded, similar aged ladies who understand the importance of taking some ‘me time’.  I’ve started to listen to my body when it lets me know I need to slow down.  And I understand the importance of putting my own gas mask on first.  I need to be the best version of me for those around me as well as for myself.  Which is why finally I invested time in speaking to my GP about my symptoms.  My daily regime now includes hormone replacement medication (HRT) to substitute the hormones which my body is no longer producing.

Life doesn’t go in straight lines, and I’ve had many curve balls thrown at me over the years and if anything, it’s taught me to grab hold of opportunities as there is no second chance.  We have one go at making the most of life, so menopause can stand aside, as I intend to embrace the here and now!

The reason for sharing my journey would be that I have 3 daughters who are the ‘why’ in my life.  They are in their early 30’s and late 20’s and I want to be their role model.  I hope that in some small way they are grateful to me for encouraging them to be independent women, free to make their own choices in life, showing empathy and consideration to others, whist educating them too.  And when they reach this stage in their lives they will be prepared and not afraid to talk openly about they own personal experience.  

And if I’ve encouraged just one more person admit to saying ‘Hi, my name is… … … and I’m menopausal’ then I'll be delighted, and I'll write down their name... just in case I forget!!!